On man hating:

I’m sick of scrolling down social media and finding an ever growing culture of sexism towards men. It seems of late there is a popularity on media platforms such as twitter to openly shun men as though women women seek retribution for the years of mistreatment at the hands of men.

Let me explain this. Sexism is a two way street. When a man is sexist to a woman there is usually and quite rightly a backlash to this sort of behaviour. However from my observations there is a new culture of women beginning to degrade and shun men without any criticism. If the men that are being disrespected in such comments respond they are called sexist back.

I can’t comprehend why these women who preach about their mistreatment then believe they have some god given right to return the punishment. If equality is to be achieved respect is deserved for all genders. It seems ironic that the fight for women’s rights is spiralling in some cases beyond equality and into the view that women thus have the right to degrade men.

In this ‘free’ world no one deserves to be hated upon for gender, race or anything as mundane as these matters. However humans seem to always want a reason to hate what is different. It’s matters such as this that makes me sad to see. If we’re not careful women will face a backlash from men arguing for their mistreatment and the gap will only widen further.

Call this controversial but I believe it to be right. Sexual organs shouldn’t define us and don’t fool yourself into thinking they do.


On Turning Points:

What are turning points? They are the points in history, in our lives and present day the decisions which change our lives irrevocably. The butterfly effect is the perfect example of this, by which if the past was slightly altered such as a butterfly changing it’s direction the future would be completely different. If Princip hadn’t have gone to buy a sandwich he may not have assassinated Franz Ferdinand and WW1 may not have occurred. Of course this is speculation and it could never be proven that these events aren’t set in history to occur no matter and nothing could be changed to prevent it.

I am of course delving into the metaphysical and speculative universe but it is one which intrigues me greatly and has captivate my mind since. I keep thinking of never ending possible worlds a realm of “what ifs”.

If I hadn’t have happened to bump into this boy I met again I wouldn’t have caused the love and heartache our current relationship bears.

If I hadn’t have heard a girl from Liverpool’s accent then I would have a different set of best friends and I would live with different people.

Its these seemingly small moments that in the present are decivingly insignificant. Yet these moments carry and incredible force.

You’re probably now wondering what the point of all this was. My point is this: embrace every single damn moment. Waste no opportunity because you never know which one is changing the course of your future.


On Religion:

Religion is one of those wide touchy topics that a lot of people like to avoid but I have such an interest in this subject that it can no longer go avoided. Religion fascinates me. What is it? A set of beliefs held by a person, a way of life, the belief in a higher being or force. Sikhism. Islam. Christianity. Judaism. Hinduism. Buddhism. And so many many more only to name a few of the larger systems. Perhaps my insane love for mac and cheese to some people makes me religious. The boundaries are blurred basically and religion is a slimmery thing to define.

I think it’s beautiful though, I think it’s nice to hold on to beliefs and truly have something to hold faith in. I’m agnostic myself, brought up in a strict Christian background but I’m waiting for the day it all comes together. I want to believe but right now there is something blocking that, I’m not read perhaps. But this doesn’t stop me idolising those that do believe and wanting to share in that.

It gives this sense of community and friendship, how people will accept you for who you are although in some circumstances some get lost along the way and want you for who they want you to be. It’s these people that give religion a bad name, the people who won’t accept you for what you’ve done, who shun and cry sin at you. To me religion should be accepting and when you join it’s like a clean slate, a new beginning as a new soul. Gone is the past, you were young or perhaps old and maybe just naive.

I also don’t believe people should actively try and convert others, let it come to them. If someone wants to believe they will but it’s a natural process and one that many aren’t ready to face and if they don’t that’s okay, love them regardless.

On overcoming anything:

Cheesy as it sounds, I am a true believer that you can get over everything. Well this wasn’t the thought process I shared 10 months ago when I posted a blog on anxiety. In fact I thought that I would never get better, I would never beat my mental illness. Well here I am 10 months later, alive and living.

I’d like to take a minute to remember the quote from Alice in Wonderland which somewhat goes along the lines of “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then”. This is true. I read my blog from 10 months ago and almost didn’t recognise my own words. It’s almost remarkable that I’ve gone from fleeing social situations to becoming social secretary of my university sports team, something no one saw coming.

I don’t know how it happened, perhaps with the death of a close friend I woke up with a new look on life and I’ve not looked back since. I embrace everything now, never say no to an opportunity until I’ve tried it and I’ve found myself doing things I never thought I would and making great friends along the way.

On my wrist I wear a silver bangle and on it has inscribed “every adventure requires a first step”, so I’m writing again. This is my step and it was one in the right direction.

On Death:

“I believe in another world, a better world and i’ll be waiting for you there.” (David Mitchell) Death. It’s a curious phenomena and something I have been questioning of late. Why is there death? Is is necessary and can it be in accordance to a seemingly omnibevolent being. This unstoppable force can perhaps be prevented but never stopped. It’s a raging greedy beast that seeks to consume everything in its path and bring about the destiny to once again return everything to the cosmic stardust it once was.

Life is a curious phantom as it is and I believe it is no coincidence that we are here and if it were some phenomenal chance then we should embrace the once chance we have and live with no regrets by fulfilling our passions. But death is there looming and overlooking always knowing and yet we fear it. Wise is the person who does not fear death. Death is not something that should control life but something we should embrace as one embraces life. If you fear death you will waste your life not living in fear of the dark time ahead and fear is the cowards game. If you do not fear death the biggest fear, then you fear nothing and only then can a big weight be lifted and you can live truly.

I was reading Swinburne’s work earlier and he believes death in necessary perhaps in order to limit the time suffering can be inflicted but also in order that we don’t make countless amends. In an immortal life we would have ultimate times to redeem ourselves and no real and true virtues would be formed. Death is a time bomb which rings and resonates throughout the course of our lives, our loved ones taken from us a constant reminder of its ultimate power.

So I ask for the sake of our loved ones alone if we cannot live for ourselves live for them. Ask yourselves when you see an opportunity “will I regret not taking this?” if the answer if yes then you should take the opportunity whilst it is still in your hands. Do not be the man who lives in fear and never steps out of his front door. Embrace your passions, go on an adventure, be yourselves and most importantly… remember to live.


On Romance:

The 21st century, we’re more advance than we’ve ever been and yet in one element we seem to have sadly regressed. Romance. What ever happened to courting a girl, what happened to men believing in true unrequited love? Maybe I’m missing someone or maybe it’s the ideology of England but from what I’ve seen romance seems to have perished in history.

However I believe it can be reborn. Believing in love is something within us, it’s in my heart and I truly believe it hasn’t perished but is rather dormant.

I will wait for the day that a man will sweep me off my feet. I will wait for my breath to be taken away by words alone. I will always be waiting.

Perhaps I am naive but perhaps this is one naivety that should not suffer a harsh death to reality. And the day when true love returns instead of the petty squabble of the 21st century offers I will be ready with open arms.

Maybe I am too young, many may believe that, however, I still believe and that alone is enough.

“Belief like fear or love is a force to be understood as we understand the theory of relativity or principles of uncertainty. Phenomena that determine the course of our lives. Yesterday my life was headed in one direction, today in another. Yesterday I believe I would never have done what I did today. These forces that often remake time and space that can shape and alter who we imagine ourselves to be, begin before we are born and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment. That each point of intersection, each encounter, suggest a new potential direction.” – David Mitchell

On Anxiety:

What is anxiety? It’s different for so many people and affects so many of us but goes unnoticed by so many.

For me anxiety is not sleeping, counting the times I lock the door, fleeing crowded rooms and believing people hate me. For me anxiety is the fear of people, the fear of people hating me, the fear of not being liked. It’s the panic which hits me and makes me flee in nervous anticipation that something terrible is about to happen. It’s the constant worry of how to respond to someone, how to act and the fear of upsetting people.

Its getting upset and breaking down for unknown reasons or over analysing how people act and blaming yourself regardless. It’s being the first to arrive because of the fear of being late and appearing rude and being the first to leave because socialising drains you. It’s the weeks leading up to big social events working out ways to not show how uncomfortable you are but being too polite to turn it down.

It’s not being able to eat food on your own in case someone doesn’t like the way you eat. It’s walking alone in a crowd and believing all eyes are on you thinking ‘she’s such a loner’ despite it being ridiculous.

It’s not being able to have a relationship because you fear someone knowing you so intimately. Its pushing people away because you fear people being too close to you. It’s the constant fear of someone criticizing you and when they do it’s the sadness that encompasses you. It’s not looking people in the eyes because you feel they will see straight through you and know all your secrets. It’s the sweat that beads on your forehead as you believe that everybody knows.

It’s also the jealousy of ‘normal people’, you want to be like them, you want to be open and confident but you realize you can’t and blame yourself some more. It’s being annoyed when people are too overprotective. The fear of telling them your not okay and they will treat you differently.

It’s feeling like you don’t belong.

This is based on what I feel though, I can’t speak for everyone. We’re all different and that’s what makes us special and unique. It’s what makes us human and after a long time I’ve realised, that’s okay.